Alpha Dogging it with the Red Pill Subreddit
So I spent a little time reading through The Red Pill subreddit yesterday and if there’s one thing that Red Pill Redditors aren’t, it’s fucking betas. No fucking way. They’re like the total fucking opposite of betas. And by that I mean they are ALPHA DOGS 4 LIFE.
Case in point: The totally rad insults they use to put the bitches in their place, as collected together in the recent thread “What Is The Most Cutting Insult You Have Said To A Woman Infield?” I mean, even the fact that they HAVE such a thread is totally ALPHA DOG but just listen to this ALPHA DOG shit they totally really say to women in real life totally for real:
That’s right! Emphasis totally his! In your face, old bitch!
I mean, that’s up there with Oscar Wilde’s famous line “shut up, bitch, I’m like Oscar Wilde and shit.”
Oh, but wait here’s another one:
Get it? Because she was dressed like WONDER WOMAN, but WONDER BREAD is a kind of FOOD. And if you were to eat a comically large amount of food — say, an entire factory’s worth of it — you would probably get very very FAT.
So by saying this he was implying that she was FAT.
So funny! And ALPHA as FUCK, if you’ll excuse my use of sentence enhancers for a moment. NOT THAT I NEED TO ASK YOUR PERMISSION TO SENTENCE ENHANCE. HOO-AH! DO YOU EVEN LIFT?
Hell, the Red Pillers are so ALPHA AS FUCK that some of them literally face down terrorists during their day job in law enforcement, then fuck their female partners that very night, then go to the RedPill subreddit to ask the assembled ALPHA AS FUCK Redditors for some romantic advice just in case they’re acting maybe a little too much like a beta with oneitis, even after that whole staring down terrorists thing.
You might need to read that whole thread to see just how totally ALPHA AS FUCK it is. And obviously there’s no chance whatsoever that DoneWithBeta is making any of it up, I mean, who would do that, just go on the internet and make things up? That is so totally not alpha, why would anyone associated with the Red Pill subreddit do such a thing?
Oh, wait, it turns out that the post might just have been a little bit of an internet joke, and that DoneWithBeta’s story might just have been borrowed a teensy bit from the 2010 action comedy MacGruber. Apparently, none of the regulars in the Red Pill subreddit are beta enough to actually go to movies, because none of them noticed. But, hey, they did give the guy some totally ALPHA DOG ADVICE, which would have worked out awesome if the story had been real and the Red Pill mods hadn’t pussied out and deleted the thread (which is still there to read, even if it’s not visible on the subreddit any more).
Also there was a whole other fake relationship advice thread based on the plot of Othello that the Red Pillers thought was totes real but that’s because ALPHA DOGS DON’T READ SHAKESPEARE.
Need I remind you that FEMINISM IS DOOMED and that we’re going to RIDE THIS BITCH TO THE BOTTOM?
Yippie-ki-yay, sentence-enhancers!
Thanks to all those sniveling beta manginas and bitches in the Blue Pill subreddit for pointing me to some of this amazing ALPHA DOG shit.
Posted on May 19, 2013, in alpha males, antifeminism, are these guys 12 years old?, beta males, douchebaggery, evil fat fatties, gullibility, lying liars, men invented everything, men who should not ever be with women ever, misogyny, MRA, only men pay taxes apparently, playing the victim, PUA, red pill, reddit, shit that never happened and tagged alpha males, antifeminism, beta males, misogyny, PUA, reddit, the red pill. Bookmark the permalink. 58 Comments.
Red pill men: I’m not an alpha, but I play one the internet.
“…everything they see was invented, constructed, installed and maintained by men.”
Because women don’t become and have never been plumbers, electricians, architects, laborers, construction workers, firefighters, cops, doctors, truck drivers, teachers, nurses, botanists, farmers, demolitionists, professors, office workers, business owners, cashiers, grocers, daycare workers, movers, postal workers, government agents, sanitation engineers, car manufacturers, veterinarians, massage therapists, delivery workers, CEOs, paper mill workers, garbage collectors, janitors…and we 100%…without any doubt…absolutely…CANNOT INVENT ANYTHING.
Seems legit.
I often wonder if, perhaps, the Red Pill is not the one from the Matrix but is, in fact, some twisted variety of Gleemonex which freezes them in the moment of their purest hatred for them to live out forever.
These doods sound like a bunch of 12 year olds staying up way too late.
Do these people not realize that most women weren’t taken seriously as anything but brood mares before feminism? It’s kind of hard to go down in history as a famous inventor/”maintainer” if you were a woman, since you couldn’t get a serious education and couldn’t own property, or even *were* property.
Um, domestication of plants and invention of farming doesn’t count? Because given that in traditional societies, women gather and usually are the farmers, it’s pretty likely that they were the domesticators of plants and invented farming. And isn’t all that other stuff having to do with “civilization” only possible if the culture is farming? But it’s not like women did anything important in that area like the men did, I guess…
I’m pretty sure at this point that the MRM is composed almost entirely of 12-year-old boys.
I…the picture on the top of this article is so weird O_o
I am almost positive the expression on that woman’s face in the first one was “what the bloody hell is he going on about.”
“Out with my boy”? To some ears, that would sound rather. . Spartan, and not in the intended way. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, assuming age of consent laws are observed. But the point - that using obscene language in public, loud enough to be overheard, is an indispensable part of being an Oooh-RAH MAN!!!eleventy - that’s the unexamined life that is not worth living.
So glad our sons aren’t picking that up.
Women did invent things. Google is your friend, all you need to do is ask. But the truth is sooo misandristic.
Anyway, these stories are pathetic. It sounds like a bunch of teenage boys on a playground bragging about their escapades. So dumb. Bet they’re real tough.
The idea of a “ham planet” doing a “creeper dance” is kind of funny. Some of these guys have a way with words.
Sshhhhhh… This could have been one of the manboobz minion stealth ninja to infiltrate the MSJPLGDHRM (men’s social justice peace-loving gentle dove human rights movement). Someone get me some evidence to back up my baseless assertion!
Checking my name correction. Sometimes it magically changes on its own.
“Later when she’s in ear shot, I start telling my friends about the fat bitch that tried dancing with me and even pointed at her.”
These would likely be the same set of people who froth about how snobbish and cruel women are when rejecting men, yes?
Well, to be fair, GreySky, men have feelings. Women are just shallow, callous b*tches who commit the atrocity of unfairly regulating access to the vagina for the poor menz who would totally, you know, die if they don’t get laid!
I’m so fucking alpha that I don’t even use feature complete software. Get some mangina beta testers for that shit, yo.
I just… but… is my calendar wrong? Is it April 1st? Please?
Ugh.
It’s funny, a little while back I had a discussion with a creationist who claimed that, “if evolution were true, there’s no reason that humans would be rational!”
Yeah… next time I talk to him, I’m sharing that link… because…. seriously.
@athywren - that creationist’s answer made me want to say “What makes you think we are?”
The whole “humans are rational” (which too often turns out to mean “men are rational”) line makes me roll my eyes so hard. Yes, rationality is part of our thought processes, but so is emotion, they’re entirely intermeshed, and someone lacking emotions isn’t someone I’d want to be around*. Not to mention that the people who like to pretend they’re totally rational are usually just dressing up their own biases and pretending they’re totes logical, and Othering anyone who disagrees or is in one of their prejudice target groups.
*not conflating this with people unable to express emotions, or read others’.
@GreySky
Also the same turds who complain that men always have to do the asking. Gee I wonder why women dont take the initiative to hit on men, given how open so many men are about teh ugly fatty fat ladies. Not only that but so many women who aren’t even fat think they are because of ridiculous beauty standards, thus making them feel even more aprehensive about asking men out.
Of course to these guys women are subhuman and only men feel the pain of rejection, so its okay to be cruel to women who try.
So the same alpha dude who complains that men are seen as dangerous & buffoonish goes on to say “It seems to make womyn’s panites moist, so fuck it, let’s ride this bitch to the bottom.” Because that’s not buffoonish at all, is it?
Ah, yes, the old “I don’t need the government” canard.
Obviously these people don’t breathe air, use electricity, don’t have running water, shit outside and bury it, grow all of their own food, and don’t drive on any roads. Because they don’t use anything that the government provides and maintains.
@Gillian and Quackers
Ah, but of course. Also, I was probably wrong, I mean these guys are ALPHA and shit, and as I understand it the definition of alpha (or ALPHA!!!11!!) is that women never reject you.
“Obviously these people don’t breathe air, use electricity, don’t have running water, shit outside and bury it, grow all of their own food, and don’t drive on any roads. Because they don’t use anything that the government provides and maintains.”
I think air would probably be available with or without a governmental body
But as for the rest you’re right.
@Chie: It’s okay in that case; men created all of that stuff, and only men can live without that stuff.
@athywren
I…I so don’t follow that ‘logic’.
These guys are manginas compared to my alpha-dom! Just the other day, these HB10 supermodel porn-star triplets who were both Asian and natural blondes broke into my apartment, tore off their clothes, and begged me to have sex with them or else their lives would have no meaning. Of course I laughed in their faces and told them they were just women and a real alpha male would never lower himself to have sex with stupid cootie girls. Then I banged all their boyfriends while they watched, crying over the misfortune of having been born female. Afterwards we got waffles.
Top that!
@Shaenon
I… I can’t. ::envy tears of my own lack of alphaness::
And then a guy cut off my penis.
…Hang on, that might have been Game of Thrones.
My favorite part of the OP is the part about “sentence enhancers.” That is straight up hilarious.
@cloudiah
“My favorite part of the OP is the part about “sentence enhancers.” That is straight up hilarious.”
I am so going to use that term in class tomorrow.
That all reads like a bunch of Jr. High boys trying to one-up each other.
There would be, but it might be a lot harder to breathe it without environmental protections.
@baroncognito
Oth without things like electricity, running water and infrastructure we might pollute a lot less. But the whole thing is silly of course…
@ Shaenon
Was there real maple syrup and wild berries on the waffles? Because I’ll only go to your carrousel if there’s syrup and berries involved.
Isn’t that second one creep-shaming? I read on the Internet that that’s terrible.
@shaenon Alpha Dom. I am not sure if your post is more or less depressing due to the fact that I have heard that used unironically.
I am the very model of a modern Major-General
I’ve information vegetable, animal, and mineral
I know the kings of England, and I quote the fights historical
From Marathon to Waterloo, in order categorical
I’m very well acquainted, too, with matters mathematical
I understand equations, both the simple and quadratical
About binomial theorem I’m teeming with a lot o’ news
With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse
With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse
Because they are buffoons.
@ thebewilderness:
aceofsevens — please tell me you aren’t serious.
I am a 25th-level paladin who’s girlfriend is the HB25 goddess Aphrodite and I fly that fucking spider-shaped spaceship from the Demonweb Pits after putting that uppity HB80 Lolth in her place by bangin’ her silly, and my vorpal holy avenger sword with Ego 18 is totally beta in my hands and will cut you deep, mangina motherfucker.
Vorpal sword? Where’s the jabberwocky? I will have part in this! *poofs*
I read aceofsevens as pointing out the hypocrisy of MRAs “creepshaming” when they so hate having it done to them, ymmv.
Also, whenever anyone mentions “I am the very model of a modern Major-General” here, I am legally required to post this.
Fabulous Dahlink!! Udderly Fabulous.!
I’m a queen.
Well, spouse of an ex-king, but that’s still pretty damn alpha.
Of course in reality, no two-legs are alpha. That is reserved for four-legs. (Or the finned or feathered, according to what your Critter Overlord happens to be.)
Well plec is an armored catfish…armor’s alpha right?
Regardless of their age, a lot of these manosphere guys seem to be mentally stuck in high school. And the obsession with hypermasculine “alpha” behaviors is a way of overcompensating for when they were nerds who sat by pining over the cute girl who ended up dating the captain of the football team or whatever.
It’s like the cliche about people who try to relive their high school glory days, only these guys never had glory days to begin with and instead of sort of moving on from that and going on with their lives like most people do, they get obsessed with trying to make up for it by playing Alpha Big Dog on the internet.
Amoured and a catfish = even more than alpha!
becausescience, thank you, I shall now have Mr Springsteen singing Glory Days in my head all day.
Not that that’s a bad thing, mind.
Oh yes, cussing, insulting people in public, and bragging about it on the internet - so manly. *swoons*
I like in particular their usage of “feminists” instead of “women” to avoid being called misogynists, then contrast “feminists” to “men”. Forgot to complete that substitution, fellas.
They might as well write “misogynists” instead of “men” since they seem to think it’s the defining attribute of a Real Man - they hate male feminists too, though not nearly as much as they hate women, whether feminists or not.
I read that this is the biggest issue male nerds tend to have: instead of examining traditional notions of masculinity and challenging them, potentially becoming feminists themselves (or at least recognizing them as allies), they instead try to prove that no, they really are that masculine and tough! They just have a different way of showing it, and hate everything feminine!
Does anyone else read “sentence enhancers” and think of this?
^that link was meant to start at 13 seconds… damned embedded links!
I wonder how many of the MRAs who so love to assert that every aspect of society’s infrastructure was “built and maintained by men” are actually involved, even peripherally, in maintaining that infrastructure, let alone adding to its construction. Considering how ignorant & dysfunctional they seem to be, I’d think not many.
As for the boast that “feminists need the government, men don’t”-I’m sure there are millions of men either caught in civil wars who’d disagree, & MRAs who apparently expect that without a pesky government getting in the way they’d be able to set up kingdoms of their own, well, I’m reminded of novelist John Scalzi’s scathing remark that instead of becoming rulers of their own domains, most Randites would quickly wind up as “objectivist jerky” without government institutions & infrastructure. I don’t doubt that most MRAs would end up hanging right next to the Randites in some psychopath’s smokehouse.
@ athywren
I was actually thinking of this:
It’s funny reading this post right now because presently I am reading The Game, by Neil Strauss and I actually understand the terminology. Before that, I would have had to click every link and Google several things. Since becoming aware of the subculture, I am still amazed daily that this is really a thing. I mean I almost can’t believe that these guys don’t realize how ridiculous they look to the rest of us. In the book he talks about carrying around a bag full of stuff, doing magic tricks and
I’m just sitting there reading this with my jaw dropped to the floor.
My first thought is, did he write this book as a joke? Like a big practical joke that would be played on strangers, kind of like when someone poisons a batch of pills at the factory but isn’t really there to witness the pain it causes his victims. It is all so surreal and at first I thought, well maybe this is just the younger people and they’ve been warped by technology and such…but there are dudes in their 40s and 50s in this subculture! It is so frigging odd, yet fascinating for the moment.