Men’s Rights Redditor warns men: “Be careful with your sperm. Your very freedom is at stake.”
Men: Protect your Purity of Essence
It’s official: Men’s Rights Activists are more obsessed with their “precious bodily fluids” than Dr. Strangelove’s General Jack D. Ripper. Over on the Men’s Rights subreddit, many of the regulars are celebrating Boxing Day by sitting around on their computers worrying about evil predatory succubi burgling their sperm. Check out this little post, which has gotten 90 upvotes so far:
Yes, he really did just say “It’s as if your penis shoots magic IOUs every time you ejaculate.” If this is true, a lot of guys owe millions if not billions of dollars to a lot of old socks.
In the comments, other Men’s Rightsers shared their deepest concerns about the specter of spermburgling. SuicideBanana warns that the enemy may already be in your bed:
Reconstrucht worries about the money-hungry sperm-hunters lurking in bars:
And one future veterinarian contemplates giving up dating, in order to protect himself from the hypothetical women — sorry, soul sucking succubi — who might hypothetically use his future sperm in order to cash in big on his future vet money. Ca-ching!
Gentlemen: To fully protect your Essence, I suggest you ejaculate directly into a paper shredder, douse the results with hot sauce and arsenic, and pour the entire concoction into the nearest garbage disposal. Then flee the country.
Like this:
Posted on December 26, 2012, in $MONEY$, cock blockade, dozens of upvotes, evil women, evo psych fairy tales, I'm totally being sarcastic, men who should not ever be with women ever, misogyny, MRA, oppressed men, paranoia, playing the victim, precious bodily fluids, reddit, spermjacking and tagged men's rights, misogyny, MRA, reddit, spermjacking. Bookmark the permalink. 763 Comments.
Only if there’s a chin-up competition first.
But of course! They’d have to do that as a warm-up at least.
My bullshit detector is pinging in general, by the way. I know some serious martial arts guys. This guy doesn’t sound like one of them, he sounds like…well, the bad guy from Karate Kid, all dumbass macho bluster and nothing to back it up.
Heheh he’s the Steele/Dumbass of the martial arts world. Hasn’t graduated to being the Pell, yet.
Hey, John, have you an Uncle Monty by any chance?
“Just because you hate people who disagree with you doesn’t mean you get to project that on me. Which of us is in the hate group again? Oh, that would be you, the feminist”
According to the SPLC, that’d b you. Please explain the problem with refusing to be friends with members of hate groups.
I don’t have any neo-nazi friends either…
“I think all are medical abortions. If you don’t need to cut skin or bone, I’m unsure you can categorize them as surgical. So a doctor using a tongue depressor is performing exploratory surgery, real smart. Oh yeah, how about an ear doctor using an “alligator”. That’s got to be surgery too. I guess you can STFU now and we won’t need to be hearing from you.”
Google, go use to! If it requires more than local anesthea, it’s surgical. Wisdom tooth extraction? Surgical. Pain killers afterwards? Medicinal. Dental drilling with novicane? Non-surgical. Pap smear? Non-surgerical. Abortion pill? Medicinal. Dilation and curettage? Surgical.
My gods man, abortions are either medicinal (she takes pills) or surgical (instruments go inside her).
“With pregnancy, the potential result is actually a logical consequence of sperm theft.”
Why in the ever loving fuck do you continue to assume that rapists never use condoms?! Or, for that matter, that the raped person orgasms? Sure, it does happen, but 100% of the time?
“If 2% is insufficient to generate a realistic risk, what percentage would be, In cases where the consequences for which are not minor?”
Double that, at least. I’m going to assume you didn’t google SJS and do it for you — warning, skin falls off.
“So now morality and compassion is dependent on the number of victims. Truly feminist logic.”
Some one get me booze, clearly I’m too sober to get through to John. Compassion for someone does not require their fears to be founded, these guys are welcome to remain celibate but that doesn’t make their fears any more reasonable. I have compassion for SJS survivors (and anyone that’s potentially about to have it, hi Pecunium! Glad your skin didn’t fall off!) Doesn’t make fearing it any more rational though.
“OK, would that make her misandric? People here seem to imply that a man avoiding making a woman pregnant is misogynist simply because he chooses to do it for his own reasons and not to benefit her.”
Which is it, can you not read, or to process wtf we’re saying? You are welcome to avoid haing kids, ou are welcome to avoid having sex, you are not welcome to go spreading about how you think all women what to steal your sperm. Or rather, you may say such, but be prepared to be called misogynist ad/or delusional.
“So feminists support the patriarchy when it suits them.”
Oh. My. Fucking. Gods. Take it up with the people feminism is already taking it up with means we support them? Do you speak the same backwards language as Steele where “to toe the dogma” means to challenge it?!
You are allergic to math apparently. In both raw numbers and percents, more women are killed by intimate partners than men. That men are more likely to kill non-intimates is as relevant as the price of tea in China. (Which, right bout now, seems more relevant, John here is making me want a very strong glass of my tea and whiskey mix.)
As for that last sentence / paragraph, try fixing your atrocious English and I’ll try answering the question.
“If you think a woman would be safer walking in a bad neighborhood with a feminist man than with me, it would depend on the feminist man.”
Oh let’s see…Pecunium? Oh hell’s yes. My FWB? Definitely. My not-an-ex is gender fluid, so pick a gender, but zie’s prepared for zombies, so yep there too. Frankly, I’d trust Pecunium about a million more times than you.
“You can’t get sympathy from people who think male rape is hypothetical.”
Please do cite where anyone here said that.
THIS!
“What people here are saying is so rare as to be a non-issue (sort of like being hit by lightening) is “sperm-jacking” with the intent of getting $5,000 a year in child support.”
“What our friend here is overlooking is the fact that some women may see him as the man they need protection from, not the one they want to protect them.”
“You couldn’t read for comprehension if your life depended on it. ”
“It’s the conflating everything with rape in part that makes me wonder if it’s ever occurred to him that he himself may be seen as more of a potential threat than a potential rescuer.”
ALL THE SECONDING
Tea and whiskey mix, did you say? I’m not sure how that would taste…maybe if it was boubon? But I’m very fond of the type of chu-hai drink that’s made with oolong (and shochu, obviously).
Tea with whisky seems to be a popular tipple. I’ve even had a bartender bring me a teabag when I ordered a lemon toddy.
I don’t get it. Maybe sweet tea with milk and whisky?
Oh god… I have to be awake in four hours to go to work, and I have a party to attend in the evening. I really ought to be asleep.
Whisky with milky and sugary things like puddings is a traditional combination. With straight up tea I can’t imagine it being all that great. Needs a less distinctively flavored kind of booze to work, I think.
(This is the reason that chu-hai drinks are dangerous, you feel like you’re just drinking tea with a slight kick and then the next thing you know you get up and the room is spinning.)
Cassandra — I’ve been doing constant comment (bigelow I think) and Jameson’s, works better than I expected. Not sure how or why, but it takes the bite our of the whiskey.
BTW I don’t even like whisky that much, but whisky truffles? Yes please. Much tastier than rum truffles. Whisky fudge is also nice.
Argenti: I want to know where the missing 10 percent of intimate partner fatalities are.
Women = 30 percent of intimate partner deaths.
Men = 60 percent.
That’s 90 percent.
I don’t even want to try and solve for the valuable ‘X’ in the muddle of all the extraneous numbers to determine the various risks (risk of male on male homicide as opposed to female on male intimate partner homicide) all of which is avoiding the question of cause in the female on male vs. male on female intimate partner murders.
It’s as if he’s never heard of fucking context (note he never responded to my direct response to his direct question of me).
“Oh god… I have to be awake in four hours to go to work, and I have a party to attend in the evening. I really ought to be asleep.”
I was wondering what you were doing on this late…don’t worry, John will almost certainly still be here tomorrow. G’night!
I suppose that the “missing” ten percent could be intersexed/transitioning, but one would expect our boy to be trying to exploit that somehow.
Say, tea drinkers, does anyone here like tea-with-milk as well as chai? I’ve never tried chai but my gf described it to me recently. Are the two at all similar?
And I suspect that a good breakdown of the numbers would say that the way to reduce risk is to avoid hanging out with violent men.
“I want to know where the missing 10 percent of intimate partner fatalities are.”
Some portion of those are same sex relationships. I have the study on my Mac, if you really want me to do the math I will.
Ah… yes, I was blind. I failed to read between the lines.
Men in general really, with 90-fucking-% of murderers being male. But I’m sure that’d be misandric. I’ll have the breakdown of the numbers in your inbox by tomorrow afternoon, or um, this afternoon. You should get some sleep, and I should go make tea and switch to a real computer.
Chai is not the same as tea with milk. Properly made the tea is steeped in the heated milk, which changes the flavor/texture more than the spicing does.
I find good chai to be splendid. I find that I have to either make it at home, or go to an indian restaurant to get it. Bad chai is wretched.
Chai is so much better than just tea with milk, it ‘s made properly. Then again I like strong flavors in general.
Going back to John and his macho bluster, one of the martial arts buddies I was talking about earlier? Works as a bodyguard. Used to be in a Triad. Chinese guy from Hong Kong, about 5ft8, maybe 150-ish pounds. Far more closely aligned with my views on gender than with yours. Would I pick him over John if I was looking for male company to help keep me safe in a potentially sketchy situation? You bet your ass I would.
Thank you, drinkers of chai!
I’ll be off shortly, the Edinburgh Tattoo is about to start. No, I have no idea why it airs on New Year’s Eve here, but that’s how they’ve done it since the 1970s. I shall doubtless end up pointing out to Mr K that those are not the sort of kilts I have in mind when saying he’d look good in one.
Dropping these all in one place for easy referencing, since this all comes up over and over again (and I’m on a real keyboard currently)
Multiple math question re: murder for hire — 1 and 2. That second one has some rare diseases for comparison rates. Murder for hire question from John Anderson.
This exact math with John and rape data.
It comes to my attention at this point that John really is just allergic to math.
And I don’t still have the spreadsheets, but here’s the crux of it -
The number of persons arrested by gender in 2011 (table 42)-
Breakdown by genders of murderer and victim -
That last one has a lot of good charts on the rates of intimate partner homicides. Overall though, rounding, 90% of murders are committed by men, and 10% by women; 30% of women who are murdered are murdered by an intimate partner, and 5% of men who are murdered are murdered by an intimate partner.
To attempt to figure out wtf John was trying to say (using the last citation above) -
Victimization rate, by gender, intimate partner homicide -
Male = 35.2%
Female = 64.8%
Offender rate, by gender, intimate partner homicide -
Male = 65.5%
Female = 34.5%
Victimization rate, by gender, all homicides -
Male = 76.5%
Female = 23.5%
Offender rate, by gender, all homicides -
Male = 88.8%
Female = 11.2%
For the love of all things holy John, if you start that 3:2 shit again, my head might explode. Go read the other thread, where we did this already! It’s linked at the top of this comment!
wtf? Did it eat my long ass comment? It’s not showing me the in mod queue message even…fuckity fuck fuck…
The Sock-eating Monster has expanded its diet to include comments! Run for your lives!
Well at least it’s showing me the mod queue message now! I did expect that, considering the number of blockquotes.
Whew!
Just had an awwwwww moment - one of the Scottish regiments just brought their mascot onto the castle esplanade. A TINY black Shetland.
Be glad you’re watching it on TV. I’ve been to the actual event and it’s hellaciously cold.
I can well imagine, even in August!
What I can never get over is how the Esplanade (they’re just doing the march-out now) looks so big on telly and yet so tiny when you’re there. Mum and I were there twice, just after the Festival was over, and the stands were still up, and we were standing looking around saying, “This can’t be it, surely!”
I have a theory that the bands are really made up of hobbits.
Coming in way late with this, but in regards to the Hebrew God being male, it’s entirely possible to interpret the Bible to include a female God: http://www.therowboat.com/2008/08/do-you-believe-in-mother-god/
“Is it just me who’s totally creeped out by the way John Anderson keeps equating consensual sex with rape in his failed analogies?”
Um, yeah.
And John, I think you’re just pretending to mistunderstand what we’re saying. I mean really, what the hell is the following all about?:
“If you think a woman would be safer walking in a bad neighborhood with a feminist man than with me, it would depend on the feminist man. I’m basing my evaluation on the average feminist guy I’ve met. Aside from the guy who volunteered at IMPACT (That’s how I heard that they recreated the scenarios where these women were raped. I know they’re trying to empower them. I wouldn’t have the heart to do it.) and he didn’t identify as a feminist, there are few I would think could better protect a woman than I. If that is what you meant then LMAO!!!”
Um, are those ladies who want you, want you for protection? What the hell are you talking about this now for? Huh? Feminist dudes can’t beat you up? What point are you trying to make here?
But I do think you’re willfully misunderstanding everything everyone here has been posting so you can say absolute horseshit like the following:
“Like I’m really going to try and score points talking about the sex I don’t want. You can’t get sympathy from people who think male rape is hypothetical.”
No one said male rape is hypothetical in here. Drop the straw.
OK, and more bragging while shaming male feminists for some fucking reason:
“Why would you think I’d even bother? The fact of the matter is the one thing a feminist man can probably do better than I is avoid attracting women sexually even the women they don’t want (if there are any).”
I don’t know, do you think you’re going to make any of cry by taking yourself out of the dating pool? I’m not sure why you keep sharing your dating status with us.
*Sigh* Anyhoo, this:
“Short version: women who kill are significantly more likely to choose an intimate than a man who kills although men are more likely to kill and more likely to kill an intimate.”
You fucked that up…EVERYONE is more likely to be killed by someone they know. According to the FBI, statistics have shown that nearly half of all murder victims actually knew their murderer. Like, 20 percent of murders involve family members. So even though we hear the horror stories of serial killers, or random unsolved murders, your chances are much higher of being killed by someone you know, maybe even someone you love. And 1 in 4 female murder victims are killed by their husband or boyfriend.
Y’all are doing a great job trying to reason with John, so I’m gonna jump back a page or two and point out how cute it is that Diogenes thinks he’s the first person to wonder if the Voynich Manuscript might be music. And that he thinks if his own method of translating it into music fails, he will have proven that it’s not music.
That would be you in the hate group, John. I give zero fucks about you, hate isn’t even on the menu. What I do give many fucks about is the way you turds want to deny the basic humanity of women.
You really don’t like it when a woman proves you wrong, do? You certainly are unsure, whoops, WRONG about a great many things. But you do love showing your ass, don’t you? Must be all that tae kwon do.
@John
So … if you have a tumor in your large colon, excising it isn’t surgery? There is no skin cutting or bone cutting involved. They just do a lot of cutting on the inside of your body.
Shiraz, I have a comment in mod, it’s very long, very math-y, and very full of citations. Your numbers are more or less correct though. 30% of women who are murdered are murdered b an intimate partner, even if we round to 1 in 4, that’s still 1 in 4 women who are murdered. JOHN’s math alley is far worse than your error, I’m assuming you jus forgot to includ he context of 1 in 4 (I fail at including enough context)
According to Merriam-Webster Medical Dictionary:
So there you have it, John Anderson, not-quite-doctor failed medical expert. Abortion clearly involves excision, so it’s surgery. Or maybe medicine has been taken over by feminists?
Thanks Argenti. I knew I should have just waited for someone else to do the math right.
@Amused: Clearly the evil feminists threatened the creators of Merriam-Webster until they took out the part of the definition that said “does not apply to slutty slutacious women sluts having abortions.”
I am still boggling at John not knowing what surgery is. His math will be next onnmy list for boggling at. (Am I wrong or did he basically claim that everyone’s risk of being murdered by an intimate partner is the same as the risk of a murder victim being murdered by an intimate partner?)
“You can choose not to believe me if you want. I just don’t see how you folks can live in a world where the De Beers group manipulates the world diamond supply, and yet it’s such an impossible stretch to think that maybe women have been doing the same with vaginas.”
So, like, I feel weird for having to say this, but vaginas are actual body parts, and not mysterious magical artifacts women are gifted with on the day of their birth. . . . duh?
@Amused - “So there you have it, John Anderson, not-quite-doctor failed medical expert.”
Do you think he studied under Dr Pell?
@whataboutthemoonz - yeah, that bit squicke me out, too. It’s like vaginas are things that women have wrongly gained control of, things that are no particular use or importance to them, but that they meanly keep men from getting to. He’s basically talking as if we are denying men something they’ve a right to … what a surprise.
Of course this thread shows why John Anderson doesn’t really rate in the TOTY competition… no staying power.
He hasn’t the fire in his belly. Plenty of booze, going from the incoherence, but not the fire.
He probably thinks he has fire in his belly, but it’s just acid reflux from all the bile.
LOL!
Other than Slavey’s demands for different sources than those I used, has any troll ever responded to my math? It feels like they refuse to be proven wrong, but know they’re wrong, and thus quietly sulk off to the corner of shame. Either that or they really are deathly allergic to math.
Uh, yeah, I’m like “this is an actual part of my body and not an inanimate object.”
If you take out the misogyny what you’re left with is a statement that women control vaginas, and the access to those vaginas. Well, with the exception of trans men, duh.
Let’s play reverse the genders. Men control the penis cartel! Again, with the exception of trans women, yes, penises are mostly under the control of men. And when you put it that way it’s obvious even to the most dimwitted misogynist that that’s how it should be, but reverse the genders and you run smack into their beliefs that a. women aren’t people and b. vaginas are an entity unto themselves which those bitchy, unreasonable non-people keep insisting on their right to be in charge of.
If De Beers shitted diamonds, I would be completely in favor of them controlling what was done with them.
The penis cartel reminds me of the bit in that thread I was reading ‘tother night (the False Rape Society one, I think) where Slavey was sneering about “envelope his penis”. I think it was you, Cassandra, who said the USPS would probably not approve of people sending penises (penii?) through the mail.
I’m very glad I wasn’t drinking anything when I read that.
Wow-these mra’s are very very delusional. Um, I wonder if they ever took the time, and braincells to realize that NOT ALL WOMEN DESIRE to get pregnant!! And their other delusion that women want their sperm…well, let’s just say that most of us don’t even want to TOUCH the stuff-let alone steal it to impregnate ourselves. They fail to realize that women are working people who can take care of ourselves now. We’re big girls. We have our own apartments/houses-can feed ourselves-buy our own stuff-and-oh my goodness live and function just fine in this world WITHOUT men! Ever hear of artificial insemination?? Many men aren’t worth the stress and annoyance anyways. Women are not property anymore. We have the potential to do anything we damn please. There are no prince charmings. What a lie. Us women and girls must be fully independent in order to possess total freedom. If a woman wants to get pregnant from these losers-well that’s her problem. Many of us are alot smarter than that. Believe it.
The thing with MRAs is that they don’t see women as people, and will hold any number of contradictory views as long as they paint TEH WIMMEN as being in the wrong. We are apparently all simultaneously depriving men of their rightful jobs/sponging off hardworking men; sluts/frigidly withholding sex; stupid, illogical and helpless/cunningly in control of all the goverments and businesses in the world; spermburgling to get pregnant and $$$$/threatening the White Race with extinction by not breeding.
You’d think their heads would explode. Perhaps the space between those three lonely orbiting braincells is what keeps them intact.
Fortunately this particular brand of douches are a tiny, almost invisible minority, as horrific/laughable to other men (and not just feminist men) as to women (apart from the equally delusional feMRA types). They’re internet warriors who can’t even organise a meeting of their own mob - have you looked at the Year of Triumphs article yet? It’s a hoot.
John: “Sorry, for most guys on the thread it probably would be, but like what one of the three women said to me when watching me practice Taekwondo in a park. You must have a strong lower body. Once you’ve gone martial artist,, nothing less will do.”
Um, congratulations?
You’re taking a cheap shot at the men here and at me. I’m a low numbers female and, thanks to a conservative Christian upbringing and those hideous ads from the ’80′s “you’re sleeping with every woman he’s ever been with”, I don’t find high number males appealing for long term relationships. I’m married and sexual conquest numbers don’t usually come up in conversations, so my prudery remains underground most of the time (thank the gods, it’s kind of embarrassing). But I don’t appreciate being mocked for it. The kind of upbringing I had was damaging: sex is dirty, my ladyparts are dirty, I am the keeper of men’s sexual needs so I must refuse to keep him from “falling”…that kind of thing. I tried casual encounters but didn’t like them much. I also found that there was no “sexual tigress on-switch” for when I got married.
So, I’m happy for you if you are happy to be eye-candy. (shrug) That’s perhaps all you are? Keep in mind that I’m sexist, too, at least I think that’s the right word for it. “you’re pretty, but only worth being used” I adopted a few male-type attitudes.
Cassandra
Hmmmmmmmmmmm.
Do you believe in free will? We’re all a product of our upbringings well before we have any capability of making a decision in the matter. Some say we don’t have any, and some (Nietzsche) say screw it, we have it to the extent we think we’re free. I think we just have a bit of it.
So, when it comes down to not trying to get under a girls skirt, the urge to talk her out of it is overwhelming. Its hardly a penis cartel when any women can ask for sex and get it then and there. There is a total asymmetry in the market there.
The Kitteh
The plural is penes.
You keep on telling yourself that.
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/insight/201009/how-college-students-respond-being-propositioned-sex
If there was not asymmetry, hookers wouldn’t exist.
Maybe you’d get laid if you stopped thinking of it as a “market.”
Who says I don’t?
I’m just realistic about the way things work.
But here in reality, things don’t work that way.
You presume that all men want sex whenever asked. How misandric of you.
Diogenes.
Stop linking us to psych studies.
WE’VE SEEN THEM ALL BEFORE.
One of these days I am going to go to a swinger’s club and actually test this hypothesis. Because I have a feeling the answer to my inquiry will generally be no. Because men are not ravening sex beasts only held in check by the woman’s lack of demand.